Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
