i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
