my vag is so smooth its legendary
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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