did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
