He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
