your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
two words...techno handjob
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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