I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I would fuck him just for his dog
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
