my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize