wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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