Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
