Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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