I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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