Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
