I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Never underestimate the power of titties
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize