I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
