I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
