I skipped work to stalk him.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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