At least make sure they are 18
Why
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
