I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
