Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
