If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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