It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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