I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I will pee on everything he values.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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