I accidentally had phone sex last night
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
