I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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