Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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