I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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