It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
