This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
