just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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