I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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