Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
