Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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