One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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