and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
