; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MIDGETS
????
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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