I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
