No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
