I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
