I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
