boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
