fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
