This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
