we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
