you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
