worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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