can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize