Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize