Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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