Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
