OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
where am i from again
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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