Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
