Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Randomize
