Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
