drunk tastebuds have low standards.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
