yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
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I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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