I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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