i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
