somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
