I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
