Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
