Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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