how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
