her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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