PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
