You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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