Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize