what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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